The truth about growing up….

What does it mean to grow up? Let’s just say, when you’ve grown up you’ll know.

As a child, the world is usually a fairytale. Going to school and homework is the biggest thing on your mind. You worry if Mum will make you your favourite food or hope that you don’t get caught wearing your favourite blue flip flops at school. You’re a free spirit; food at the table, a comfy bed to sleep on and a family to love you. Your childhood friends only add to that bliss as they become your entertainment and badass “gang” for those few years. Video games and toys are your ultimate battle and victory over the rest, but all that’s short lived.

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Now you’re a teen, you have the eye of Mr.Holmes. You observe different behaviours , ways of dressing, speaking etc and you pick up what pleases you. It could be a cute boy at school or the new ‘cool’ jacket trend or that you need to have an firefox trooper bicycle to fit in the clique.

I’m sure you remember,as a kid you were totally grossed up about watching a kissing scene, now who’s hoping that it should be you and Jaden Smith maybe. You wish to God that you get prettier, but you can’t help it if the curves aren’t yet right or if your face has reached the ugly troll stage. You’re only hoping that things will get better and you just might get noticed. Life at that point can be very dramatic since you think you’ve understood it. You’ve found yourself a boyfriend who loves you irrevocably and y’all will marry and have two angelic kids only later to realise that you were highly mistaken and that it’s an ocean of fish out there or your best friend starts dating your boyfriend and you decide there’s no further purpose to life and you’re ruined… Oh you know how it is… Then comes the end to a rocking phase.

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What are you gonna do now baby girl? When are you gonna start looking for a job? What job are you gonna look for? I hope they pay you well. Gosh you are surrounded by the monotony of these questions from every Uncle, Aunty, neighbour and distant relative who never ever called you up. Relationships get more interesting and realistic at this point. Some decide to spend their life with a certain someone or like me think there’s still an ocean of fish out there. This statement is highly debatable because love doesn’t come easy and the fish out there might never be as great as what you had.

Life can be so unpredictable and each morning we wake up waiting for the unpredictable to unfold itself hoping that goodness is in store for us. Growing up I’ve come to realise a lot of things, for starters nothing is easy to come by, it could be something as minute as pizza to a homeless child or a college admission or the funds for a brilliant start up idea. My point is you have to work hard, really hard to get what you want. Life isn’t food at the table and a bunch of friends to entertain anymore. When you realise you gotta make it in this world, you are your only barrier and the moment you’ve overcome that then there’s no stopping.

What am I doing with my life? Should I be doing something different? Should I work harder? Maybe I need God? The constant whirlpool of these questions gets you crazy, frustrated, maybe even make you condescend others out of jealousy. But all this is part of the process.

Friends and family might be with you along your way, to support you, that means they’ll be there for advice, a shoulder to cry on or for financial help if need be. Sometimes that’s all you need to go on and try harder. You’ve grown up now, no one’s gonna walk you through your chores or the fact that you need to find your purpose in life or how to give the perfect answer to an interview question. They say, the world is a rat race and the smartest ones make it through, doesn’t mean if you don’t make it, you give up. Maybe you’re not a rat after all, maybe you’re a gentle bunny or hardworking ant or a cunning wolf, you just need to find yourself. I’m sure Dr.Abdul Kalam didn’t aspire to become the President of India, while selling newspapers on the street.

Life isn’t ever going to stop surprising us. Some find their way at 10, and know what they wanna do for the rest of their life and some have to try till the ripe age of 60 to hit stardom. As adults we try to make mature decisions, at least our idea of what’s mature and responsible. We associate ourselves with people we think will benefit us, a new mother might give up a great job for her child, a businessman will think or rather should think of his employees in any major work decision, a politician will put on his best face for the people.

We are all connected yet so distant from each other. Everyone’s struggling to be the best, but if everyone is the best then how will there be any distinction? Each person will need an individual world to themselves. We need to understand that humanity is a puzzle and in order for it to function we need to be connected. You may be a personal secretary to a CEO, but if not for you managing his/her entire day and making things easier he may have not employed 2000 people. So find your happy place, it may not be right at the top but that’s alright. The truth is happiness is the most important criteria to keep you going. Happiness is when you find your purpose in life, when you’re surrounded by people whom you care about and when you come home at the end of a long day and can still manage a smile at a burnt roti….(just kidding :P).

I’m 20 now and have so much more growing up to do. But don’t tell me how it’s gonna be or what comes next. I’m just gonna strap up, hold on tight and let the roller coaster begin. 🙂 Cheers

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